Wow, I suck at updating this blog

That is all.

Writing is fun, interviewing is not

I love journalism, really I do. I love writing articles. I love doing research for them. But for the life of me, I will NEVER like interviewing people. It makes me nervous. Maybe this why, as a child, I dreamed of being a writer who lived in the forest. It's not a practical dream, but at least I wouldn't have to talk to people.

This post will be edited and made longer later, right now class is ending and I actually have to go interview people :S

Sorry, I Forgot to Add....

...that the job itself is overly stressful. I can only stand so many cranky nurses, psws and clients yelling at me at any given time. But at this point, I don't even know that it's worth it to find another freaking job. This at least has semi flexible hours and it pays decently.

Maybe I'm just tired at this point, I don't know.

UGH. Work.

I'm starting to wonder if I really care about my job anymore (actually, I'm pretty sure I don't care about it anymore). Maybe I'm just sick of all this bullshit that seems to come with it. Let me start by explaining that I work in a call centre for a nursing and home care agency. I originally went to university for a general arts/social work degree. Having found that I wasn't really able to deal with that/probably was not ready to go to university and only went because my friends were going, I sort of...drifted. I tried a landscape design program for awhile but again, I did not see it being a career for me.

In 2004, while I was figuring out what the hell to do with my life, I got a job in the call centre of a nursing and home care agency. I thought that it would be a short time job until I decided what career I wanted to do.

Well, it's been just over 5 years at this same place now (so much for short term) as an after hours coordinator. The shifts are in the evenings during the weekdays (4:30pm to 8:30pm) and on weekends (7:30am to 4pm or 3:30pm to 8:30, or sometimes all day). But if this job has taught me anything, it's that I don't want to be stuck in this dead end, no chance for improving squat job. Last year, I finally applied and was accepted into a 3 year Journalism program at college. I am happy to say that I really like it and that it is something that I can see myself doing. While I still occasionally have my doubts about whether or not I'll be able to handle it, I really enjoy it.

Now back to this job. I really and truly cannot stand it anymore. I feel so apathetic towards it, and I worry that it's beginning to show. There have been a few times where I've forgotten to do something or something was missed. In the beginning, I felt really bad that I had screwed up. But in the past couple of years, if I've messed something up and the supervisor has lectured me, I've simply put in "yeah, I understand" or "I'm sorry about that, it won't happen again" where they were necessary, not because I actually meant it. I don't even know how to explain it. It's scary feeling this apathetic.

It's not that I hate the people I work with. I really think they're nice and we get along really well. I think that my problem is with the supervisor. She's really nice as a person and when one of our other branches gives our call centre trouble, she is quick to sort out the problem and defend us if need be. It's her lack of ability to put up a proper schedule that has really started bugging me. She can't put it up on time, it's NEVER correct and when she doesn't have it up, she expects that we know we are working because it's on our availabilities (which we give her in advance)...never mind that there are 8 or 9 of us that are working/require hours.

Recently she hired 2 new girls. One of our former colleagues is moving back to the Philippines for a year or two so she and her fiance can get married. Those of us in the call centre who know her plan to throw her a goodbye party this Sunday evening. EXCEPT this leaves the call centre slightly short staffed. There are always three people working on every shift (except night shift where there's only one person). Now my supervisor is making a fuss because she tried to be nice and give everyone the same times off. The new girls, who both are available, have said they will not work on Sunday afternoon. So my supervisor's brilliant idea was to get me and my friend (even though we're supposed to attend the party) to stay for the entire day and we can go to the party after our shift ends.

And what pisses me off the most? My supervisor didn't even have the guts to call me on her own because she knew I would probably say no. Instead she made one of my colleagues call because she's the sister of the girl going away and she knew I would feel bad to say no to her. So now, instead of being at the party at 5pm, I will be there at least 4 hours late by the time I leave work and drive there. Yes, I still get to go and I'm happy about that, but seriously...the goodbye party will almost be done by the time I get there, never mind that it's going to be a very long day.

Anyway, this post is excessively long and I'm tired. I think I'll end it here.

P.S. I'm not looking forward to going to work on Friday

This is just random

I'm watching one of the videos I took over the weekend while my boyfriend and a couple of our friends and I were at the cottage. My boyfriend is laughing in it, and every time I watch it, I can't help but giggle, too. He just seems to have one of those infectious laughs that makes you want to laugh, too.

<3

Let's see how long this lasts...

I've NEVER been great at keeping a journal. I love writing, I find it easier to express myself through writing rather than speaking, but I'm like a mouse on coffee when it comes to keeping a journal. I never seem to have the attention span for it. Maybe this is why I'm drawn to poetry. It's describing a moment in as few words as possible (although some of the stuff I've written in pretty long).

But I'm going to really try this time. I'll hopefully use this for poetry, and occasionally my weirdo thoughts.

:)